Blog posts that provide encouragement for marriage and family success.

"You're too..." Finding Your True Self

"You're too loud."

"You're too talkative."

"You're too sensitive."

"You're too serious."

"You're too smart." (that’s a thing?).

"You're too intense."

Can you relate?

Have statements like these been made about you? Do people say you're "too" much of something?

People have said these things about me for my entire life. And they bothered me for a long time. Comments like these made me feel like I wasn't good I had nothing good to offer the world. I felt unloved for who I was. Though, honestly, I didn't know who I really was in the first place. Statements like these made me feel like nobody liked me. I felt like everybody wanted me to be somebody else - anybody else. I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin, though I envied those who did. I wondered who I was supposed to be if people didn't like me the way I was.

These feelings even spilled over into my marriage. Though my husband has never said these things about me, I felt surely he must be thinking them. After all, most others seemed to feel like I was "too" something. So I let myself drown in a sea of dissatisfaction with myself and lost about who I was really supposed to be.

But then I realized: I’m not “too” anything.

Who am I really?

I took a little break the other day. I went to the beach and made a long list of all the negative things anyone has ever said about me and all the negative thoughts I've had about myself. I wrote every one of them down. Five pages worth!

I then prayed that God would remove those names from me and replace them with a new name for me. I put them in a jar, burned them, and tossed the ashes.

Those labels, those statements of being "too much" of anything, are gone. They no longer define who I am.

Instead, I know that I’m a child of God - made as He wants me to be for a great purpose (Isaiah 43:7). He made me special and unique, built for the exact plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). And that makes me feel warm and cozy.

I love knowing that He loves me the way I am. I don’t need to be skinnier, quieter, talk less, or “lighten up” for Him to think I’m amazing.

A single flower depicting the feeling that we are all alone
Photo courtesy of Unsplash: Ameen Fahmy

Who are you, really?

And the same is true for you. God loves YOU just the way you are. He made YOU special and unique for an amazing purpose, too.

You no longer have to be limited by what others say about you. Our innate nature - shy/outgoing; planner/spontaneous; talkative/quiet - are all characteristics God gave us. We don't need to hide away those parts of us. Instead, let's use them for God. Every single person can use the gifts and qualities God gave them to serve His purpose - to tell others about Him and His wonderful love.

Sharing God's love can happen anywhere! By remaining true to ourselves the way God made us - with our husband, kids, extended family, friends, and work - we can be a light of shining authenticity. And in the process we can appreciate and encourage others to be themselves as well. When we lean into our TRUE selves, and encourage others to do it as well, we create a world of love and peace that only God can provide.

Let’s all live our best selves - pursuing God’s best for us without worrying about being “too” anything.

I’m sure you and I would be great friends, appreciating each other for the special gifts each of us has been given. 💝

What are your favorite parts of yourself? What characteristics make you wonderfully unique? Tell us below in the comments (scroll to the very bottom).

With love,


PS: If you enjoyed this article, I would be honored for you to share it with your friends and family.

Family success depends on parents leading the way. Marital communication that is effective will lead by example. When husbands and wives communicate clearly and with intent, they can build a successful marriage. That marriage teaches children successful family communication for ultimate family success. I pray this post gives you encouragement to learn that process and have your own successful marriage and family.