Blog posts that provide encouragement for marriage and family success.

No More Excuses

The Beginning

I was sitting in the hard pew at church. The cushions were removed due to covid. Only my family was sitting near me. Everyone else was more than 6' away. The pastor was talking way up front (I'm a rear-church sitter, please don't judge me). I can't tell you the songs we sang or the readings for the day.

Green box with black inlay that says "no more excuses

So there we were, at the very beginning of 2021. Hard pew, few people, pastor way up front. And the pastor said something that was life-changing for me. As soon as I heard it the implications for my sanity and my relationships swirled in my head. I didn't hear anything else he said.

I went home and wrote it down in my Bible study journal. I decided it would be my focal thought for the year. Time passed, work and life got busy, and I forgot.



The Bible brings it back...

But recently the Gospel reading brought me right back to this insight.

John 2:13-22 NLT -- It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem. 14In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. 15Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. 16Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”
17Then his disciples remembered this prophecy from the Scriptures: “Passion for God’s house will consume me.”c
18But the Jewish leaders demanded, “What are you doing? If God gave you authority to do this, show us a miraculous sign to prove it.”
19“All right,” Jesus replied. “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”
20“What!” they exclaimed. “It has taken forty-six years to build this Temple, and you can rebuild it in three days?” 21But when Jesus said “this temple,” he meant his own body. 22After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this, and they believed both the Scriptures and what Jesus had said.John 2:13-22 NLT -- It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem. 14In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. 15Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. 16Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”
17Then his disciples remembered this prophecy from the Scriptures: “Passion for God’s house will consume me.”c
18But the Jewish leaders demanded, “What are you doing? If God gave you authority to do this, show us a miraculous sign to prove it.”
19“All right,” Jesus replied. “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”
20“What!” they exclaimed. “It has taken forty-six years to build this Temple, and you can rebuild it in three days?” 21But when Jesus said “this temple,” he meant his own body. 22After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this, and they believed both the Scriptures and what Jesus had said.

The Jewish leaders were confused. They thought Jesus meant the literal temple but He meant the temple of His body. It was only much later, after his resurrection, that they realized what He meant. I can just imagine that "aha" moment!


Here's What Matters

Jesus didn't make an excuse. He didn't clear up the misunderstanding. He let time take care of it. He knew that in time the people would understand.


The good news is that there are times for us, too, that we don't need to make excuses or clear up misunderstandings. Time can bring clarity for us, too. We can trust God to bring understanding to those that need it.

The End of Defensiveness

This is a huge thought for me. Far too often I jump to my own defense...or my kids' defense...or my husband's...you get the idea. I'm ready to explain and then explain some more in an effort to get someone to see my point of view.

But why? Is it crucial? Do they need to understand? What would happen if I just let it ride? If I just let God take care of it?

Letting go of the misunderstanding and taking hold of God helps our sanity because we no longer need to sit and stew.

We don't need to spin with words to clear it up.

Our mental health can rest in knowing that God has everything under control.



The Beginning of Healthy Relationships

For my relationships this means that I can stop trying to fix everything. I can let God be in control of the relationship, instead of trying to force my own control of the situation. In that time I can rest in relationship instead of struggle. My peace can bring peace to our relationship.


We don't need to understand everything all the time to have good relationships. With God at the center of our relationships we can trust that He will take care of things in due time.


Certainly, there are times we need to explain a situation or clear up a misunderstanding. But now I'm working on praying first. And I'm learning to be content in the misunderstandings, knowing that God understands all and will make it right in His time.


In Peace,

💜 Andrea

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From Andrea @ Write.Speak.Relate: Family success depends on parents leading the way. Marital communication that is effective will lead by example. When husbands and wives communicate clearly and with intent, they can build a successful marriage. That marriage teaches children successful family communication for ultimate family success. I pray this post gives you encouragement to learn that process and have your own successful marriage and family through understanding how to apply Scripture to your own life.